Periodic Insights #1 - Listen to Your Resistance (It's Trying to Help You)

Is this Fear? Procrastination? Or Resistance?

I heard Gretchen Rubin share a story from a Rebel teenager– years ago on the Happier podcast– that perfectly captures Rebel resistance. The teenager shared with her, "I was in the middle of making my bed when my mom yelled up the stairs, 'Don't forget to make your bed.' Suddenly, I hit a mental block. I immediately quit making my bed."

Can you relate to that story? I can.

It reminded me of my struggle with writing essay outlines in high school. I loved writing essays, but creating an outline before I wrote my essay didn't make sense to me. Until I started writing, I barely knew what my thesis was, let alone how I would structure my argument. Every time I sat down at my desk to complete these assignments, I hit a mental block. I couldn't overcome my resistance to this one-size-fits-all essay writing structure. Until my World Literature teacher, Mrs. Webster, gave me a brilliant idea,

"If writing the outline first doesn't work for you, then start with the essay. Write your first draft, and then use that to create your outline."

When I hit Rebel resistance at work, I often apply the wisdom I learned from Mrs. Webster. I ask myself, "how can I reverse engineer this process or create my own process to help me get past this resistance?" However, overcoming resistance to personal goals requires a different approach entirely.

Encountering resistance to personal goals, creative projects, and entrepreneurial ventures often feels like failure. But this resistance usually contains valuable information about what's not working. When I'm facing this challenge, I use this process:

Step 1: Is this Fear? Procrastination? Or Resistance?

"What are the gremlins saying?" I love this question that Brene Brown shared in her book Daring Greatly. It's the first thing I ask when I catch myself backing down from a personal challenge, abandoning a creative project, or failing to follow through on a business plan.

I use that question as a journal prompt to help me figure out if my avoidance is the result of self-doubt and self-criticism (fear), anxiety (procrastination), or a misalignment between my identity and my goal (resistance).

If I discover that the underlying cause is fear, usually unpacking it in my journal or with a friend helps me to overcome it.

If it's procrastination, then I'll identify what's causing me anxiety and figure out the best solution. Am I anxious because a project feels overwhelming? Then, I'll break it down into manageable steps and gamify them so the process feels more fun and energizing. Am I avoiding a task because it's boring or stressful? Then, I'll decide on a reward to gift myself for tackling it.

If what's stopping me is Rebel resistance, I'll move on to step 2.

Step 2: The Ta-Da List

A "Ta-da List" is a list of tasks you've tackled instead of tasks you need to do. Of course, I learned it from Gretchen Rubin on the Happier podcast. (As you may have noticed, she is practically my guru. I avoided self-help writers and influencers until I was introduced to her writing and podcast about ten years ago.)  

When I'm failing to follow through on one of my goals, it's easy to beat myself up for not being productive. Documenting my accomplishments with a Ta-da List helps me combat that negative narrative. It also helps me see where I have been investing my time and creative energy instead of focusing on what I haven't been doing. That can be clarifying.

For example, my goal this year has been to transition from writing for clients (as a copywriter) to writing for my own audience. I had initially planned to launch a Substack. But I just couldn't get myself to follow through.

When I looked at my Ta-Da List, I realized that even though I wasn't making any headway in launching my Substack, I had already created half a dozen resources in Notion and Canva. That prompted me to think through why I was spending so much time using those platforms but not Substack. I quickly realized it was because Substack's platform didn't feel as intuitive to me. Realizing the platform was the problem clarified the solution: find another platform.    

If this step doesn't help me overcome my resistance, I move on to step 3. If it does, I usually go straight to step 4.  

Step 3: The Do-Better List

A Do-Better List is a tool I use for honest self-assessment without harsh self-judgment. We all fall into habits and patterns that don't serve us. Often unconsciously. Consciously thinking through them is the best way I've found to identify where I need to make changes to bring myself into alignment with my goals and identity.

These are the main questions I pose to myself when I'm making a Do-Better List:

• What habits have I developed that don't make me feel good? How could I tweak them to feel better?
• What could I add to my daily menu of options (my alternative to a routine) that would move me closer to my goals?
• What changes could I make to align my actions with my identity?

Once I've completed this list, I move on to step 4.

Step 4: The Pivot

Knowing where I'm investing my time and energy (the Ta-Da List) and what habits, routines, and patterns aren't serving me (the Do-Better list) enables me to resolve my resistance by pivoting.

I use this self-knowledge to create a pivot plan. Or, to be more precise, I use it to adapt my goals, tweak my Needs Doing List (aka my to-do list), and update my daily options menu. Or make a simple but impactful choice, like deciding to launch Unboundium on Ghost instead of Substack.  

Encountering resistance still frustrates me, much like that teenager who was frustrated her mom had unconsciously sabotaged her morning routine. Sometimes, it feels like the worst part about being a Rebel. But, experience has taught me to listen to it instead of trying to force myself past it. The result is always worth it. It helps me bring my habits, routines, and goals into alignment with my unique rhythms and identity. In other words, it helps me live into who I am instead of trying to fit into the narrow box of who I think I should be.  

Lab Notes Abstract: Next Week’s Experiment

Sometimes the best way forward isn't the direct path. Next week's Lab Notes dives into productive procrastination—the art of doing the "wrong" thing at exactly the right time. You'll also receive your first Catalyst Bingo card, featuring 25 self-knowledge, productivity, and creativity challenges to spark transformation.

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